Ok- so I am a little nervous, I feel like I am stepping out onto the stage, giving a big performance. My hands are shaky, my tummy has butterflies, what the heck is wrong with me? It's just a blog. really....? is it?
For approx 60 days I have sporadically logged onto my sisters blog and read thru teary eyes, the changes that she has been going thru. I wish I could be there, go out to lunch with her, complain about the crappy service with her or go on a bike ride with her and her new hubby. It pains me to have to read about it. My heart skips a beat as her words jump off the page at me, they are truly her. Funny, how for 30 years now she has existed and I have never really read anything she has written. How wonderful to get an opportunity to do it now.
Over this past year, I have discovered a new person in my sister. Maybe she has always been there, waiting for me to discover her. This year alone, she calls me more and more, she sends me emails AND she even manages to send me an anniversary card BEFORE the date actually arrived. All this makes me feel pretty important, which I love! When we were little, I remember us arguing alot. Since we are only 22 months apart we had alot of the same friends in high school and were in alot of the same sports. I guess I have felt competitive with my sister, something I probably never needed to be. This is new territory for me, I have always been the one to send the cards and calls, it is nice to see some of it coming back. In any event, I am welcoming her with open arms.
So, u ask- what's changed that has brought about all these- "feelings...." geez! Well, I had a baby. For those of you that have children, I applaud you. The work that goes into them is amazing and mine is only 6 months old right now. Sure, everyone tells you they change your life, but I didn't really know what that means until I had one. My daughter has improved my life by the umteen millions. She changes every single day and I am happy to share that with the world!
With that said, I guess that makes me nervous too. When the hell did I get to be such a Nervous Nelly? I never used to be. I think as I have gotten older and know a little bit more, life can be a little scary sometimes. For now, I'm tucking my head down and treading forward.
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lol, you're right, i definitely cried :-).... gosh stac, i love you so much. it's so weird to be so close to you but also never hear things like this being said you know? It sounds like you feel the same way about hearing my inner thoughts. it's just really really nice. And I have ALWAYS loved you very much, i guess expressing those feelings is where I could have improved :-)
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad for your inaugural blog! very very nice. hurray for this and for blessed little nova in our lives! can't wait to see and hear on a more day to day level!!!!
talk to you tomorrow. love your fave sis